Autumn season, storm season!
The weather is changing, it’s getting colder and more windy outside, which made me think how easily it can get really stormy inside of us. I mean emotionally. And sometimes it’s even more turbulent inside of us than the hail storms outside!
Imagine the following situations:
- You are short on time, doing your groceries and you stand in line to pay. Your queue is the slowest and longest (of course, as always!…). The cashier is taking years to scan each item, the granny in front of you needs someone to talk to and you are boiling from inside out because your precious time is running through your fingers like sand. So many things, which still have to be done! Time is money, no? You get it, I guess… 😉
- Sun is shining, its warm and nice. You are on a walk and suddenly you meet a friend, which you haven’t seen for a while. You speak a lot, maybe go for coffee. After that encounter you are smiling over your whole face and feel a deep happiness and warmth inside your chest. ❤
So, two complete different situations. In one case you feel anger, frustration, and worse; in the other its totally positive emotions rising up in you. What do they have in common?
Well, it’s simple: YOU!
What we usually overlook is that every emotion, no matter of which category, has it’s origin in us. It is affecting us, making us cry, laugh or mad. It’s toying with us and what we pretty much always believe is that the reason, the root of this, comes from the situation we are in.
Stress, no time, work to do ⇒ anger and frustration
good weather, nice food, or whatever makes you happy ⇒ joy and happiness
But to be honest… that’s a lie. The thing which makes you angry or joyful is simply put “you”. All emotions are yours since they come out of yourself, correct? So how could it be then that the circumstances should dictate our emotional state and feelings? We are giving them that power because it’s just easier to blame someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone, since I always find myself in the same situations. It is always easier to let yourself believe that “this old, slow granny is taking your time” instead of confronting yourself that you actually have that impatience inside you for some reason. All the things around us are just the triggers to tickle out these emotions inside of us. And I admit for myself that to accept this is really hard stuff!
It actually means accepting that you really have negative emotions inside you, which most of us don’t want to see. Because we are made to believe that negative emotions are bad. It’s not polite to be angry at someone, of course, the reason behind it is that you will eventually hurt an innocent person, which leads to a new roller coaster of emotions, and on, and on, and on…. And that’s how people start hurting each other back and forth. But don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying that we should suppress our emotions! But, also not let them out freely raging like a hurricane! That’s the very difficult point of balance: to stay inside yourself in the moment of deep emotion, but still being able to reflect on what is actually happening right now. Right now!
Be aware and observe! Don’t get into the trap of judging what is happening inside of you. Whatever kind of emotion you will experience, it is inside of you. You don’t need to understand the reason right away. That is not the goal. The goal is to see it how it is.
And that’s all you need to see in first place. And funny thing what happens after that: you will actually see it and magically by itself that emotion will lose its grip on you. You will not be so easily shaken or intoxicated with joy. And on the other hand you will not repress anything. By simply observing and realising: “It is.” You are giving your emotion the room and space it needs. But that’s all. And you will definitely see that you will have the control over your state of mind. Since that is the main thing: our emotions are OUR emotions. But not more. They are part of us, so it’s US – me, you, whoever – who tell them how to behave and accept them. Personally, I think that already knowing this fact, makes it way easier to cope with emotionally difficult situations.
Start by practicing in your daily life with small things: traffic jams, long queues, being late. And you will realise that it actually works 🙂
Enjoy this glorious autumn season and don’t forget your umbrella for rainy days 🙂